R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize