i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
