Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
