I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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