He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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