my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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