i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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