I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
