Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
