Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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