Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
