Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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