Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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