I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
