i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
