I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
