yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
