I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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