Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
