My friends, they love my intelligence
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
