two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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