This girl is more easily done than said...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
