You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
