so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
