You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
