So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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