dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
