I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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