Only a mothe r could love this liver
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
