so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
