I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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