Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
