you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
