lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
