Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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