I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
