My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
