She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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