I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
