I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
