i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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