Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This toilet bowl is my home.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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