I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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