Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
