Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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