I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
