And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We just shotgunned beers for America
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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