There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
