i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
