Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
