Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
