Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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