If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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