a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
