is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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