I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
