Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
