I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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