she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
