the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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